before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
