arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I just found puke in my bra..
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
