i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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