I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
