So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Randomize
