is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
