just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
He shit in the fireplace
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
