I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
