no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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