he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Randomize
