if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
