if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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