you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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