Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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