I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
