He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
