____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
