Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
