i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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