Say something about gay babies.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
