it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
