I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
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