All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Randomize
