We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
