I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
