he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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