OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Randomize
