im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
