even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
