The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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