you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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