I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
