For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
