mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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