I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
