have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
