one two three fourrrrnication!
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Randomize
