I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
