i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
