Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
