the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
