Apparently you make a good broom.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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