Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
The air was thick with penises
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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