in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
