Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
