I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
