Its about making memories worth repressing
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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