Kiss
Puke
I will die if light touches me.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
