How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Randomize
