We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
