Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I believe in your delicious
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
